im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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