i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
