Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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