i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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