If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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