I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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