Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
