She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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