Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
