i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
