he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
