physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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