Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
