Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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