Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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