you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
