Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
