Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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