turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize