that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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