Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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