My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
