YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
