omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
