what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
