I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
