Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize