i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
