Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
