Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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