First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize