I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
