went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You pole danced in your parka.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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