I am puke
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
