After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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