This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Are we in a gay sports bar?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
