if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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