Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
