your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
