We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
