She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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