is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
