she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
