I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
