There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Rumble strips road head = magical
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
