I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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