So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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