He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
