You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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