wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
