that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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