I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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