I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
