I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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