I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
