Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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