For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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