5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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